Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Cinemasochist Review: Hobo With A Shotgun

Hobo With A Shotgun: The Best Movie TROMA Never Made"
by: Sean

Oscar Wilde once said "Talent borrows, genius steals." You can say Quentin Tarantino is a cinematic example of this. He may "steal" everything he does, but I think he makes it his own signature and he "steals" with love and respect. Then there's "Hobo With A Shotgun." For what it is, it's genius. Your mother may not agree with me, but it's definitely, like a Tarantino movie, made with love and because of that, I really enjoyed this film.
The reason I bring up Tarantino is because the origins of this film involve him indirectly. In 2007, director Jason Eisener signed up to make a faux "grindhouse" trailer a la the fake trailers featured in the Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez film "Grindhouse" for the SXSW film festival. The trailer, made for $150, respectively, turned out to be a smashing internet success and WON the contest. Of course, it was inevitable a feature would be made and here we are a few years later. The big question remained; does this 2 1/2 minute concept work as a 90 minute film? It certainly does....If you can handle it.

"Hobo With A Shotgun" stars Rutger Hauer as a train hopping hobo who ends up in a dead end, crime ridden town only to become it's crime fighting vigilante, a la Batman. The town is run by crime boss Drake (Brian Downey) and his two Tom Cruise-esque, Ray-Ban wearing sons Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Batemen). They are sadistic, immoral, and a bit too over the top at times, but I digress. Our hero, the hobo, finds a lawnmower on sale for $49.99 in a pawn shop and dreams of cleaning up the city. Instead he finds a shotgun and amidst a robbery in the pawn shop, obliterates the criminals with said shotgun. During his crime sweep, he befriends a beautiful young prostitute called Abby (Molly Dunsworth) whom he looks after like a daughter. Their relationship is actually very sweet, and considering the insane, colorful, bloody world we are brought into, very real.
This is one major reason why I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. No matter how depraved, grotesque, or gory it gets, it maintains a sort of humanity. Casting Rutger Hauer was inspired and the scraggily, sad lines in his face are characters in and of themselves. The characters are played straight when needed and are turned up to 11 when needed. The villains, like I said can be a bit over the top, but that's part of the appeal. It's strictly a genre film. If you grew up with this VHS blood stained, synthesizer heavy muck, you'll get a kick out of the nods to other classic horror films (Dead Alive, Escape From New York, Street Trash, etc). If you didn't grow up with it and are willing to let it be what it is, it's still very entertaining and it certainly flies by at a frenetic 86 minutes. And unlike "Grindhouse" it doesn't wink at us, nor is it missing reels. It is what it is and you get what you get. So, leave your taste in the car and enjoy "Hobo With A Shotgun" because I certainly did.

Score: 0 out of -10 (perfect)

"Hobo With A Shotgun" will roll out in limited release starting May 6th, but if you can't wait (and don't) it's available NOW on VOD!!



Soundtrack downloads:
http://www.russhoward3.com/Music/HoboWIthAShotgun.html

Episode 32: Collision Course

Lately we've been traveling down a road traveled by very few. It's uncertain how many have come out alive, but I know that after the experience of "Collision Course" I'm surprised we made it unscathed....At least I think we did.
This is the pits, people. How was this ever made??

Check out Episode 32, but don't check out "Collision Course"...Please.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Episode 31 - Popeye

Popeye. Altman. Williams. Evans. Nilsson. Sounds great, right? Well, boy will you be red if you watch this. Listen to episode 31 first and find out what we thought of Robert Altman's 1980 Popeye.
Special guest this week is Logan Crow of www.mondocelluloid.com and www.lbcinema.org
If you're a Long Beach native who loves film, you should probably know this guy!


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Directors?

Some of you may not know this, but two of the Cinemasochists co-hosts have directed various videos and shorts. The two newest projects can be seen below. Check 'em out.
Now, were's my copy of Popeye????

"Be My Lovin" Man" by Michael Guerena




"Baby Grown-Up" by Sean Johnson




for more check out:

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Episode 29 - 300 or; 300 Men, 600 Nipples, One Night Only!

We decided to try something new this week. Aside from Jake not being there (we was missed), we watched a film that is not known for being baaaaad, just totally ridiculous; Zack Snyder's 2006 film, " 300".



Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Cine-Menus Number 2: Jaws 4 “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”

JAWS: The Revenge: “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”

APPETIZER

Guacamole with BITE, served with fresh baked Shark Fin shaped whole wheat tortilla chips.

GUAC WITH BITE

Nothing says a day at sea like lounging on a leisurely boat ride, sipping a Great White ale, and dipping a whole wheat chip into big bowl of fresh guacamole.

That is…

UNTIL THE GUACAMOLE ATTACKS YOUR PALLET AND ALL HELLFIRE BREAKS LOOSE IN YOUR MOUTH!

Mush 3 avocados – and mush ‘em good.

Sprinkle in some garlic salt to taste

Add a lime. Heck, add a splash of lemon juice!

Give it a stir and add:

1 bunch of chopped cilantro

1/2 a chopped red onion

2 chopped tomatoes (the firmer and fresher from the vine, the better!)

Sprinkle in some crushed red pepper.

Then sprinkle in some MORE pepper! Black, red whatever. (do sprinkle though, don’t pour – you don’t want to kill your friends – they’re already suffering through Jaws: The Revenge…)

Slice up a jalapeno! Throw it in your sea of guacamole sea for bait!

WHOLE WHEAT CHIPS

Sure you can buy them in a bag from the store, but ask yourself - do sharks prefer store-bought, pre-packaged meals? Or meals of the fresher, more tender variety..?

Slice whole wheat tortillas into fun shark fin shaped triangles.

Spread them on cookie trays.

Cover lightly with olive oil, salt, and a little black pepper.

Bake for about 20 minutes @ 250.

I served mine “wet chip” style, in honor of the great white silver screen star, but if you want a really crispy chip, bake em a little longer.

MAIN COURSE

Shark-like Swordfish soft tacos with Lamnidae Lentils

SWORDFISH

The shark. The swordfish.

Two meaty creatures of the sea.

Both have names begin with the letter S.

One, was available for purchase on Sunday afternoon before the Cinemasochists podcast. The other, was not.

2 fillets of swordfish – thickly sliced. (feeds 8)

Marinate for a few hours in lime, cilantro, and a tad of olive oil.

Add a can of chopped tomatoes if you want the fish to have a nice bloody, shark-bitten look to it.

Slice fish into taco size serving pieces.

Heat olive oil in a frying pan.

Dip fish in: Soy milk, egg, bread crumbs, and throw it in the pan.

If your fish is VERY fresh, you can sear the swordfish.

If you’re not sure, cook the fish until it is fork flaky tender.

Heat your tortillas (I used corn in honor of the corny special effects – but flour will work just as well)

LENTILS

If you haven’t been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should buy your lentils fresh, soak them in salt water, and boil them up with spices to taste.

If you HAVE been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should just heat up a bag of Steamed Lentils from Trader Joe’s.

The instructions are on the bag, and the consistency delightfully compliments the swordfish.

DESSERT

Blood Orange Sorbet and Navel Orange Slices / Kelsey’s Killer Cookie Pie

The BLOOD orange sorbet is self explanatory.

Kudos to cinemasofriend Kelsey for bringing over her killer cookie pie. Some folks claimed it was a tad undercooked…but then again, I think sharks always prefer their courses served extra rare!

Til next time,

Stay hungry,

Mama Maria