Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Terror On Tour or: "...They sound like a buncha vultures at a BBQ"

Part 2 of my "Horror Rock Musical" marathon spectacular!!
"Loose girls, drugs, booze, you know the scene!"
I do now, thanks to "Terror On Tour". This KISS meets "Friday The 13th" cash in was directed by Don Edmunds and released in 1980. Its about "Loose girls, drugs and booze..."
You know the story.
A costumed, Cheap Trick sounding band called "The Clowns" are on tour (funny, though..They seem to play the same venue every night....) and shooting "straight to the top!" Their costumes are something to behold. Black tights, red capes, black and white face paint and afro wigs (!). Unlike KISS, each member looks exactly the same, which is convenient for the plot. See, these "Clowns" have a staged act that consists of stabbing and maiming various female audience members. One night, some drug dealing whore dies for real and we're lead to believe its one of "The Clowns" since the perpetrator was in full "Clowns" regalia.
What happens in the next 75 minutes is a lack luster, uninteresting whodunnit. Two cops are on the case and are totally convinced its the band. Is it the pill popping drummer? The wildman guitarist? The jaded singer? The nice guy manager? Or is it the 2 roadies? Each guy has a motive....Kind of.... I guess. Either way, the killer essentially gives himself away in the first 5 minutes.. Sorry. SPOILER!
Did I forget to mention all the gratuitous violence and sex in this film? I just did. There's plenty of it any horror hound with patience of a saint might actually enjoy this.
Since I am talking about music in this marathon, I must say I really dug the music in this film. It's not much of a musical, but there are about 4 set pieces built around the music of "The Clowns". The songs were all written by a Chicago band called "The Names". It's perfect in that late seventies, post punk, pre power pop kind of way. Like I said, it has a great Cheap Trick quality to it. If anyone out there has MP3's of these tunes, please send em my way. I'd love to have them!
That being said, the most redeemable aspect of "Terror On Tour" was the music and I'm sure that was on purpose. The rest is slightly entertaining. The are many unintentional chuckles and fun, albeit boring death set ups. But if you have a short attention span, don't bother. If you intend on obtaining it, good luck. It's pretty hard to find, since only VHS copies were made. I would say finding the soundtrack would be a better time waster... Happy hunting!!

Choice line:
Girl: "Anything I can do for you??"
Guy: "DIE!"

Terror On Tour
Directed by: Don Edmunds

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