Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Cine-Menus Number 2: Jaws 4 “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”

JAWS: The Revenge: “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”


Guacamole with BITE, served with fresh baked Shark Fin shaped whole wheat tortilla chips.


Nothing says a day at sea like lounging on a leisurely boat ride, sipping a Great White ale, and dipping a whole wheat chip into big bowl of fresh guacamole.

That is…


Mush 3 avocados – and mush ‘em good.

Sprinkle in some garlic salt to taste

Add a lime. Heck, add a splash of lemon juice!

Give it a stir and add:

1 bunch of chopped cilantro

1/2 a chopped red onion

2 chopped tomatoes (the firmer and fresher from the vine, the better!)

Sprinkle in some crushed red pepper.

Then sprinkle in some MORE pepper! Black, red whatever. (do sprinkle though, don’t pour – you don’t want to kill your friends – they’re already suffering through Jaws: The Revenge…)

Slice up a jalapeno! Throw it in your sea of guacamole sea for bait!


Sure you can buy them in a bag from the store, but ask yourself - do sharks prefer store-bought, pre-packaged meals? Or meals of the fresher, more tender variety..?

Slice whole wheat tortillas into fun shark fin shaped triangles.

Spread them on cookie trays.

Cover lightly with olive oil, salt, and a little black pepper.

Bake for about 20 minutes @ 250.

I served mine “wet chip” style, in honor of the great white silver screen star, but if you want a really crispy chip, bake em a little longer.


Shark-like Swordfish soft tacos with Lamnidae Lentils


The shark. The swordfish.

Two meaty creatures of the sea.

Both have names begin with the letter S.

One, was available for purchase on Sunday afternoon before the Cinemasochists podcast. The other, was not.

2 fillets of swordfish – thickly sliced. (feeds 8)

Marinate for a few hours in lime, cilantro, and a tad of olive oil.

Add a can of chopped tomatoes if you want the fish to have a nice bloody, shark-bitten look to it.

Slice fish into taco size serving pieces.

Heat olive oil in a frying pan.

Dip fish in: Soy milk, egg, bread crumbs, and throw it in the pan.

If your fish is VERY fresh, you can sear the swordfish.

If you’re not sure, cook the fish until it is fork flaky tender.

Heat your tortillas (I used corn in honor of the corny special effects – but flour will work just as well)


If you haven’t been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should buy your lentils fresh, soak them in salt water, and boil them up with spices to taste.

If you HAVE been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should just heat up a bag of Steamed Lentils from Trader Joe’s.

The instructions are on the bag, and the consistency delightfully compliments the swordfish.


Blood Orange Sorbet and Navel Orange Slices / Kelsey’s Killer Cookie Pie

The BLOOD orange sorbet is self explanatory.

Kudos to cinemasofriend Kelsey for bringing over her killer cookie pie. Some folks claimed it was a tad undercooked…but then again, I think sharks always prefer their courses served extra rare!

Til next time,

Stay hungry,

Mama Maria

Spaghetti Western Festival 2011

We're very excited for the upcoming inaugural L.A. "Spaghetti Western Festival" on March 19!

Because we'll be there and we want YOU to be there too, we're offering discounted tickets to the event! If you order online before February 28, use the word "WESTERN" in the discount box and get up to $10 off! Just go to www.spaghettiwesternfestival.com and order now!

They will be screening "Fistful Of Dollars", "Dead Men Don't Count" and "Gatling Gun", which apparently Tarantino really digs!

So, get on that horse and get your cheap tickets NOW!


Monday, February 14, 2011

Episode 28: I HATE Valentine's Day; ....and this movie

This is our special Valentine's Day episode of CINEMASOCHISTS!

The hilarious Amy Claire picked this cinematic fart and boy, did she pick a whopper!

Is it the WORST film we've watched thus far? Listen in and take heed.

check out Amy Clair online: http://www.missamyclaire.com


Cinemenus special Valentines recipe

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Episode 27; Jaws 4 - The Revenge (This Time it's Personal)

This week we decided to take "the plunge" and watch the fourth best entry in the Jaws saga; Jaws 4 - The Revenge "This Time It's Personal"

Our guest this week (back for a third time!) is Noah Green!

Cinemenus recipe for Jaws 4

Monday, February 7, 2011

Eric's 2010 Year In Review

Eric's 2010 Year in Review

2010 was one of the worst years in film. Again we were bombarded with forgettable sequels and remakes. Top filmmakers such as the Coen brothers, Ridley Scott, Darren Aronofsky and (now serial sell-out) Tim Burton produced disappointing movies. I did manage to find some standouts though:

Rookie filmmaker Debra Granik managed to create the western I wanted veteran filmmakers Joel and Ethan Coen to make. You couldnt help but notice actors and sets in the manicured and sterile
True Grit. Winter's Bone takes place in the gritty, suspicious Ozarks, where young kids are forced to grow up early. In the year's best performance, Jennifer Lawrence searched the lawless backwoods for her father. And who knew Eastbound and Down's John Hawkes (Kenny Power's brother) could act? Hawkes gives a chilly performance as a violent relative we arent sure can be trusted. The polar opposite of the disappointing, conventional True Grit- thrilling, dark and realistic. Its a western, detective and mafia movie all rolled into one. Coens and Haile Steinfeld take note.

Dont be put of by the plot- a retelling of the origins of Facebook. David Fincher redeems himself after the
Benjamin Button fiasco with the engrossing story about the power of an idea. Aaron Sorkin's rapid fire script is truly one of a kind. To make a thrilling film about a series of conversations is very impressive.

Ben Stiller is capable of delivering a great performance in the hands of a skilled director (especially himself). Filmmaker Noah Baumbach never does wrong in my book ever since writing "The Life Aquatic..."with Wes Anderson. Stiller's Greenberg is neurotic, irritable and narcissistic. His failed musician returns to LA to housesit for his brother and then ruins any scene he visits. Baumbach's films and pain-in-the-ass protagonists make you feel uncomfortable, but their despicable leads are fun to laugh at. They always make for great character studies and no one learns a thing (sometimes you gotta love when that happens). No more Fockers, Stiller!

Danny Boyle is also a reliably great filmmaker. Told he couldnt make a thrilling film about a guy with his arm stuck in a rock for two hours, he delivered just that. I even admired James Franco's performance, though I'm usually annoyed with this poster boy for multi-hyphenate actors. An inventive film about the importance of relationships and having a connection to nature.

David O. Russel is another director who does no wrong. Dont be fooled by the trailer- this is no conventional underdog sports film. Russell tells the true story of a Boston boxer who must escape his large, loony and obnoxious family in order to succeed in the ring. An excellent supporting cast and I loved the HBO-style video cinematography during the great boxing scenes.

My other favorites were
TOY STORY 3 (loved the inspired nods to classic prison escape and mafia films),THE KINGS SPEECH (yes, it was an Oscary theatrical British drama, but good story, good acting), INCEPTION (dont watch it more than once though- youll see its mainly exposition and not much action. But its undeniably original and includes the best fight scene in years) and SHUTTER ISLAND.

In the So Bad Theyre Good category,
THE WOLFMAN, PIRANHA and THE EXPENDABLES produced enjoyable camp. 80s/90s Shoot-Em-Ups (see: Eastwood, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, Seagal, ect) and Creature Rampage genres are some of my favorites.These ones delivered everything I was looking for and (seemed to) know the ridiculous limits they were pushing. Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins gives his worst performance since Instinct and at one point dons a wolfman outfit in an over-the-top battle with Benicio del Toro! Such good wolf battles! As you can see, with these three on my top list, it wasnt such a good film year was it?

Staff writer: Eric Palmer