Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Cine-Menus Number 2: Jaws 4 “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”

JAWS: The Revenge: “Hey sharky, take a bite out of THIS!”


Guacamole with BITE, served with fresh baked Shark Fin shaped whole wheat tortilla chips.


Nothing says a day at sea like lounging on a leisurely boat ride, sipping a Great White ale, and dipping a whole wheat chip into big bowl of fresh guacamole.

That is…


Mush 3 avocados – and mush ‘em good.

Sprinkle in some garlic salt to taste

Add a lime. Heck, add a splash of lemon juice!

Give it a stir and add:

1 bunch of chopped cilantro

1/2 a chopped red onion

2 chopped tomatoes (the firmer and fresher from the vine, the better!)

Sprinkle in some crushed red pepper.

Then sprinkle in some MORE pepper! Black, red whatever. (do sprinkle though, don’t pour – you don’t want to kill your friends – they’re already suffering through Jaws: The Revenge…)

Slice up a jalapeno! Throw it in your sea of guacamole sea for bait!


Sure you can buy them in a bag from the store, but ask yourself - do sharks prefer store-bought, pre-packaged meals? Or meals of the fresher, more tender variety..?

Slice whole wheat tortillas into fun shark fin shaped triangles.

Spread them on cookie trays.

Cover lightly with olive oil, salt, and a little black pepper.

Bake for about 20 minutes @ 250.

I served mine “wet chip” style, in honor of the great white silver screen star, but if you want a really crispy chip, bake em a little longer.


Shark-like Swordfish soft tacos with Lamnidae Lentils


The shark. The swordfish.

Two meaty creatures of the sea.

Both have names begin with the letter S.

One, was available for purchase on Sunday afternoon before the Cinemasochists podcast. The other, was not.

2 fillets of swordfish – thickly sliced. (feeds 8)

Marinate for a few hours in lime, cilantro, and a tad of olive oil.

Add a can of chopped tomatoes if you want the fish to have a nice bloody, shark-bitten look to it.

Slice fish into taco size serving pieces.

Heat olive oil in a frying pan.

Dip fish in: Soy milk, egg, bread crumbs, and throw it in the pan.

If your fish is VERY fresh, you can sear the swordfish.

If you’re not sure, cook the fish until it is fork flaky tender.

Heat your tortillas (I used corn in honor of the corny special effects – but flour will work just as well)


If you haven’t been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should buy your lentils fresh, soak them in salt water, and boil them up with spices to taste.

If you HAVE been drinking beer at a Whole Foods beer tasting for about 4 hours before you are prepping your meal, you should just heat up a bag of Steamed Lentils from Trader Joe’s.

The instructions are on the bag, and the consistency delightfully compliments the swordfish.


Blood Orange Sorbet and Navel Orange Slices / Kelsey’s Killer Cookie Pie

The BLOOD orange sorbet is self explanatory.

Kudos to cinemasofriend Kelsey for bringing over her killer cookie pie. Some folks claimed it was a tad undercooked…but then again, I think sharks always prefer their courses served extra rare!

Til next time,

Stay hungry,

Mama Maria

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