Friday, August 13, 2010

Jason Lives. And Lives. And Lives.

Friday The 13th comes along once maybe twice a year and whenever it does, I dust off my old Friday The 13th VHS (now DVD) collection and endure one or maybe two titles. This all started when I was realllly young. Cable channels like USA, TBS or TNT would play marathons all night long. How could a pre-pubescent horror fan resist?? It was a nice way to begin a tradition that continues 20 years later......But I digress.
Today I watched "FT13th part 5: A New Beginning" while half paying attention and working at the same time. Here's what I got out of it...
Last time we saw our pal Jason Voorhees, he was chopped up into manwich meat by Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman) in a fit of rage. The "surprise ending" implies that Tommy had inexplicably got Jasons soul transferred into his. (Is that right??)
Part 5: "A New Beginning" begins with a rainy night in the woods (duh!) where Tommy Jarvis (still Mr. Feldman here) happens upon Jasons grave, where it stands alone. Tommy hides in the bushes when he sees a couple guys show up to dig out Jasons body. It's actually not under the ground so it makes it pretty easy for these guys to dig it up. Luckily, Jason was buried with his machete so when it came time for that coffin to open he was ready to attack. And attack he did! The reason I actually picked this installment of the FT13th legacy was becuase of this scene specifically. I vividly remember it during these marathons when I was a kid and it actually creeped me out! As Tommy hides in the bushes, Jason rises from the ground, looks straight at Tommy and slowly walk toward him, knife in the air. In a non-effective film, that scene is actually quite effective. It's too bad the rest of the 100 minutes don't quite cut it...Pun intended.
Turns out this was just a dream and Tommy is actually much older (not Corey Feldman anymore) and is being carted off to a teen half way house out in what looks like Crystal Lake. Here at "Pinehurst" we meet your usual horror film teens, except they all have some physical or psychological issue. It's still not much of a stretch considering there's a bimbo, a rocker, a token black (who is about 8 years younger than everyone else), a hunk, the comic relief rednecks and an annoying fat guy. All the major 80's staples are accounted for here.
I can't really say much else about this movie because not much else happens. At all. It's quite boring, actually. Which is a shame because some of the kills in this one are actually quite good. There's a road flare into the mouth, garden shears to a naked womans head, a impaling on a toilet and your typical axe to the head. All the bits in between dont really go anywhere. It's all set up to kill these (non dimensional?) characters. The real plot I guess revolves around Tommy, but he's barely in it. He'll show up here and there and that's supposed to imply that maybe the killer is Tommy. He wasnt, which leads me to the most annoying thing about this movie....
JASON WASNT EVEN THE KILLER! There was no Jason. It was a minor character that we see at the beginning doing a copycat thing...I don't know where he wouldve gotten the mask, but I digress....
I give it 2 nostaglia points, otherwise -8.
If you like boobs and blood, of course it is!!

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